I don’t know where I’m standing now. This place is felt strange to me. Around mearecovered with thick mist, even I can’t look at my own feet.I am like flying as a ghost in the darkness.My sensitive sense can feel there is a fright at this place.
“Moiraa…”
A woman’s voice whispers to calling me softly.I look left and right to find the sound source, but cannot find it.I turn my body, and there is a strong glowing big door stand among the mist at the end of room.
“Moira …” the voice sigh again, so weak and soft.
That voice …
Iam sure itis from there, from that big door.My chest is pounding, my breath feel tight. What should I do?
I hug my body with my hands and brave to move my feet step by step toward the door.The door is like a large building gate. More closer, I can see a large equilateral triangle at the middle of it.
I continue my steps slowly. That fright is more feel. My nape hairs bristle.Now I can see clearly that the aquilateral triangle on the gate have a circle in the center.In the upper corner of it there is a picture, it is a roaring lion’s head. In the Left corner there is a dragon’s head picture whereas the goat’s head picture is in the right corner.
My steps stop for observing to this symbol.I have never seen a symbol as like this but I know.Thereis something terrible behind this gate, waiting for me.
What sect building is this?
I decide to go away from that door. When my feet took a few steps back, the gate is opening slowly. The creak of a big and strong door hear from inside. Suddenly it appear a hand sticking out toward my body with fingers covered in wounds and bleeding out. A matted hair woman’s face with a weak voice andstammerly, calling my name,
“Moira …”
Her voice try to call me many times, it is sawfatigue and desperate while sheis trying to call my name.The woman sticks out her hand to try reach my body and look at me with imploring look.
“Help us, Moira…” she whispers.
This woman knows my name and asks for helping.
Do we know each other?
I try to look at her more closely to recognize her. At the moment I see that in both the woman’s eyes trickled tears of blood. Her lip is chapped and her face is full of terrible wounds.Her hand more closes to me.
My fear increased, I step to go back, fall down and screaming.
I was stared and woke up from my sleep.
“Oh, it is just a dream.Just a dream… Thankfully.”
My breath felt tight,my chest was like being pressed by something heavy, the sweat flooded my body but feeling of relief began to dominate my body slowly,my cold hands gripped the bed sheet began to warm,and I began to control my whole bodythen I tried to wake up.My muscles tightened due to my nightmare. My heart beatingfast began to beat normally.
I sat on the edge of my bed.
“Nightmare.” I wiped the sweat from my forehead.
This scary nightmare was not just once,but came to my dreams repeatedly.
Eventhough, I was not accustomed to the dream. Every time the fright was felt new as if it was a new nightmare which I had never experienced it.
The woman who asked me for help repeatedly, who was she?
And the big gate, what building was that?
Where was it?
I reached the glass on the side of my bed and wet my dry throat. I saw a small alarm on the side of my bed. It was still morning, just at 05.00 a.m.The calendar showed March 15, 2014.
“Moira, have you woken up? Breakfast is ready”said Mamapeeked in front of the door and smiled.
“Yes, Ma. Moira will take a bath first.”
I folded the blanket and tidied up the rumpled bed sheet, took the towel and entered the bathroom.
After experiencing a nightmare, the shower of cold water was really refreshing, dispelling my anxiety and distracted mind.
I looked at my face in the mirror, my face looked tired, pale and misty eyed.I dried my straight hair at the waist by a hair dryer.My big eyeballs blackened under my eyelids, a sign of fatigue due to not sleep enough because of thinking about my thesis.
I used my rose pink lipstick on my lips from Adrian giving as my best friend. At this time our status is a best friend and didn’t know in the future, I thought with a smile.
When I redrawmy thick eyebrows with eyebrow pencil , suddenly the shadow of a hand was sticking out and the face of a woman who covered in wounds appeared from a mirror.
For a moment I was shocked and then I screamed.My eyebrow pencil was thrown.
I heard Mama’s footsteps stepped it out,
“What’s wrong, Moi?”
I turned to look at Mama who looked back at me worriedly.When I looked into the mirror again, the woman’s shadow had gone. it was a normal mirror who reflected the reflection of my body and Mama.
“Have been I hallucination at the early morning?”
I said softly,
“Nothing Ma,umm… there is a rat. Yes, a rat. It is sobig. I’m surprised to see it.”
“Oh, it’s just a rat. I think there is something happened to you, Moi.” Mama answered.
Mama walked out of the room quickly. The smell of French fries from the kitchen smelled delicious in my nose.
My mama was a single parent. She had been so busy to provide for my college, my young sister and our daily needs. Telling unimportant things like my nightmare to her would add her mind burden, wouldn’t it?
I wiped lipstick that crossed out from my lips line, combed my hair and changed the clothes. When I went to the dining room, my breakfast was served on the table. I sat at the dining table with my mama and started eating my breakfast.
In the morning TV news broadcasted news about a governor who was running for president.
My mind thought about my thesis that was waiting for the results. It would be accepted or not as a sign of my graduation. This morning I had an appointment with my thesis supervisor, Prof. Julian Andono. I hope my thesis could be accepted.
I ate my breakfast quickly, hugged my beloved Mama from behind and kissed her gaunt cheeks then said goodbye to go to campus.
“Be careful, Moi… and good luck with the thesis.” Mama said hopefully.
***
I arrived at campus, I walked through my campus building, I wasn’t felt that I had studied and got through any learning activities during 3.5 years. I was still imagined when the first time I registered at this campus to satisfied my great curiosity.
It was right…
Some of my friends called me the kepo princess, because I always asked critically until my curiosity is answered. I would never stop asking until I knew everything.
There were many unique courses there.My friends also often attended various practical seminars off-campus that related to psychology, hypnotherapy seminar, graphology seminar, NLP seminar, body language seminar.
I attended seminars to satisfy my curiosity and also an opportunity to get a seminar charge with affordable prices. Even though my allowance had run out, but I was satisfied. In some seminars I was appointed as a coordinator, by gathering a number of friends, made me get to attend in seminars without paying or for only half the payment.
The memorable seminar for me was a hypnotic seminar. I was really like it. I went into hypnosis to treat children with special needs when I was being apprentice at an occupational academy.
My mind was dreamy. Oooh… I would leave this building if my thesis was accepted and would apply for a job. I was also remembered when my friends read each other’s body language, tried to guess and overcame problems by giving psychological suggestions.
Uh, I felt the time was running so fast, moreover our exciting debates on campus that used tools, psychological test forms, assessments and some methods.
Unnoticeably my steps had arrived the lecturers’ rooms. The room of Prof. Julian was at the end. It was at the corner of rooms. The room was large because it was often made presentations the lecturers. I sped up my step to get the Prof. Julian’s room. I knocked on the door with pounding chest.
“Come in!”
An authoritative bass voice responded to my knocking.
I opened the door slowly.
Prof. Julian, my supervisor, a middle-aged man who had half-closed eyes. Because of his eyes were hidden in eyelid, his face looked flat and unpredictable expression moreover his lips rarely smiled and were flat.
He was really a cold man, although he dressed neatly with a long shirt and tie around his neck showing a formal and educated impression. His hair was short, combed neatly over his head, a thin mustaches adorned over his lips.
He looked at me as usual, flat expression.
“Sit down, Moira.”
I sat in the chair that provided in front of the Prof. Julian’s table that had a large oval mirrored on it. My backpack was taken off and held in front of my body to cover my nervous. Did my thesis pass?
“How are you, Moira? I heard you were sick a few days ago?”
I was surprised and delighted for his unexpected attention to me.
“Oh, it’s been past Prof. I’m allergic to mushroom. Yesterday I ate straw mushroom accidentally, Prof.”
I lowered my backpack, and then put it beside my feet.
“You are healthy now, aren’t you? I have two good news for you.” he said.
“The first, after testing your thesis yesterday, I represent the examiners deciding that your thesis entitled Hypnotherapy as a Support for Abnormal Psychology Healing, declare that you passed without revision.”
“Oh, wow. Thank you, Prof.” I said happily.
“The second good news….” Prof. Julian hung his sentence.
I leaned forward, waiting for the continuation of the sentence. I felt my eyes sparkling waiting for the next sentence from him.
“You got a very good job offer from a university partner.”
I was stunned.My feelings were mixed at that time. The happiness was followed by the other happiness. I felt my eyes were glazed over at that moment because I was so happy. To cover up my behavior that might be awkward at that time and my great curiosity, I immediately said,
“This is really a surprise for me. But how can it be, Professor? Even though I’m cum laude, but there are many better ones than me, Prof?”
“For this year you are ranked 4th. But your explanation in your thesis is better than other and you can practice your hypnotherapist well, even the best. “
“Professor, I’m really admirable. And then… may I know about the job offer just now, Prof?”
“Here is the letter. Read it.” he said as he handed me a white envelope.
I accept it….
Suddenly, Thump!
My heart was like stopping to beating, my eyes widened to see the triangular logo printed on the envelope. The triangular logo at last night and previous night always appeared in my dreams.
“This logo… this logo…” I was stuttered.
The shadow of the large door in the mist, the hand was sticking out wounded, the bloody eyes, and the sigh of the woman who called my name. It was flashed quickly in my mind.
“What’s up, Moi?”
“Oh, nothing, Prof.” I tried to calm myself, took out the letter and looked once more at the triangular logo on the head of the letter. I read quickly.
Professor Julian’s mobile phone rang. He received the incoming call immediately,
“Hello? Yes, she is here. Please, come in.” he said and closed his mobile phone.
The door was opened. A beautiful woman, the straight black hair with long loose hair, height with proportional body shape, round glasses, and blazer suit entered the room.
Her black high heels were clicking when she walked.
“Moira, this is Mrs. Rose. She will explain the details of your new job. At this time she will describe what your job in general. Because of this is confidential, I invite both of you in my room. I have to get out of here.”
“Hello, Mrs. Rose. I’m Moira.” I introduced myself and reached out my hand to her.
I saw Prof. Julian left us and his body wasn’t looked when the door closed. Mrs. Rose shook my hand.
When I stood up, it was looked Mrs. Rose was taller than me. Her fingers felt thicker than mine and she shook my hand firmly.
Mrs. Rose was strong woman with strong-willed, it was looked from the eyes and her hand grips. I thought to try analyzing my interlocutor.
“Moi, this work is part of state secrets. Previously we have studied your personality and your thesis. We consider you are suitable for this job, and our recruitment is confidential because it is for the future of the nation and country.” said Mrs. Rose. From the tone of her voice implied assertiveness. Maybe this person was a woman who obeyed the rules, I thought it again.
“Thank you, Mrs. Rose. I think… I like it. But may I ask for time to think about it first? “
Mrs. Rose answered,
“If you agree to work, you will work on an isolated island, there is no mobile phone signal and communication. If you need internet access, there is a military satellite line according to the authorities there. You can use it. You will be contracted for 6 months without going home until your contract was completed. Meals and boarding are provided. And I will accompany you in your work. I will give you four days to take your decision. It starts from tomorrow morning.”
“The appointment letter cannot be received until you approve it. This work contract is six months. Your salary is twice of the capital minimum salary and then you will be appointed as a government employee with a 100% salary increase.”
Ouch, my feelings were shaken again. Who didn’t dream of being a government employee? And in 6 months the salary has been doubled… up to 100%. Even though for 6 months without internet and mobile phone facilities, it might not be a problem because basically I liked the challenge. But the most special was to be a government employee, twice of the capital minimum salary and the double salary increase.
I tried to keep my behavior. Because I was studying psychology I tried to cover up my body language so that it wasn’t looked excessive. If I wasn’t prestige, I can jump and dance happily. Suddenly, I remembered a few of my friends who were scared of their future. They complain about how little the world of work for psychology graduates was. So many Human Resources Department (HRD) had been occupied. Moreover one of the challenges to be HRD staff is many enemies. It started from the recruitment process to the dismissal of employees. And also HRD could be overcoming a labor demonstration. Huufhh…. for opening a psychologist’s office must have a place and staff to help.
I began to organize my thoughts, even though I was looked silent for a while. I set my voice tone then I say,
“It’s very interesting Mrs. Rose I’ll think about it first. In four days, I will give the news.”
Actually without a second thought I could decide it. I was ready for working. It was like a country girl who accepted the fiance of a rich and kind prince. But when I glanced at the envelope with the triangular logo, my heart began to pounding and my mind was a bit chaotic. It was like Déjà vu. And also I remembered having a mama who loved me so much. I had to ask for permission to her even though I believed that she would support me about the decision to accept this job.
“You can contact Professor Julian to confirm this approval for four days. You tell the Professor. I will come again and we signed the contract.”
“Remember, this is a secret contract. It should not be spread out because of the part of state secret. There are thousands candidates we have chosen and you’re the chosen one. If you miss this, you won’t have access to this job anymore because this is just one chance.”
“Any more questions? You can ask now.”
“How is it, Moi?”
Wow… this was one of the mysterious values that made me respectable because I felt needed and there was a sense of intelligent here. Who has felt like this besides me? Even though I was born of a military father, but my father never told me about this.The recruitment secretly to a fresh graduate of psychology.
“Yes, Mrs. Rose. Thank you.” I said politely.
I put the letter in my bag. My mind was puzzled between happy, proud and astonished.
I said goodbye and shook hand Mrs. Rose. When I came out of the Prof. Julian’s room, I was watching Prof. Julian sat alone in the cafe with a beverage in front of him and his hand hold his tablet the smartphone. It looked like he enjoyed his loneliness there.
Oh… Prof. Julian, why were you too happy with your loneliness? Even I heard that the Professor was single until now.
***
When I went home, I told the good news to Mama immediately.
Mama smiled brightly and hugged me.
“Thank God, Moi. Your thesis was successful and got hired. It is very good income and be a government employee. Mama’s daughter is really incredible.” she said while kissing my cheek.
Mama also allowed me to work outside the city, even though my young sister was studying outside the city too. It meant Mama would be home alone.
“Papa must be very proud of Moi, if he knows this.” Mama added. My heart was sad remembering papa.
Marine Captain Gepardi, my father, was declared missing in the assignment two years ago.
“Mama really hopes to meet again with your father, Moi. Even if it’s in the corpse, it’s never mind.” Mama sighed.
I held Mama’s hand,
“Papa is a strong man, Ma. We pray for the best to Papa, he survives and can come back together with us Ma.”
***
When I got to my room, I took a bath, changed my clothes and then took out the envelope with the triangular logo from my bag. There was nothing written about the company or the address, corporation, legal entity etc. It was just a few general provisions about the work rules.
Hmmm… It looked like a simple print letter. Maybe if I rejected it, this letter might not be part of any government or military department. But I remembered that referenced it was Prof. Julian, the chancellor of my own university and I’ve been found with the mysterious beautiful woman, Mrs. Rose, who just conversed with me. Looking the envelope I was sure, that this logo was displayed in front of the gate with the fright in my dreams. So this was the logo of a secret government agency, not the logo of a sect as I thought.
If I refused this job, would my nightmare be end? Or come to me more often, and more horrified? As far as my dream had always end with falling down without knowing what exactly happened behind the gate.
If I accepted this job, it meant that I would open the gate from the front. Venturing into it and maybe finding an injured woman who had been waiting for me to come and needed my help.
But oh, I was just a simple girl, my height was 158 cm, my weight about 50 kg. If I met a terrible and cruel torturer behind the gate or even scarier. What can I do? I can’t do self-defense. Although my father was a marine who was a martial arts expert, but he didn’t force me to learn any martial arts. He only taught me how to rolling techniques, fell safely. So that, if one day I slipped or fell off the motor, at least I would be injured. Maybe the one my physical strength was I able to run fast with a pair of my legs which Adrian said as like agile deer.
Adrian.
I smiled remembering it. The male friend campus mate who was always be sweet to me. What was he doing now? Had he slept? Did his thesis pass? I took out my mobile phone and my fingers were moving on whatapps to Adrian giving news of my graduation thesis and the possibility that I would work for the government.
Ting!
Adrian replied immediately
“Congratulations, Moi. You are always cool. “
Ting!
“Double Cool”
Ting!
“Triple Cool”
I laughed and read repeatedly Adrian’s reply with pleasure. You were always cool. Moira was always cool, double cool, triple cool.
Eeaaa…
“How is your thesis?” I put a big smile emoticon and I pressed the send button.
“Two days later, I can meet my supervisor, Moi,” a listless emoticon was attached at the end of the sentence.
“Jiaooo, be spirit Andrian. You must have passed. I’m sure.” I replied.
“Amen. I hope it.”
I laid my body on the bed. My eyes met with an oval mirror on the wall of my room, on the side of my cupboard.
I hurried to type again,
“Andrian, have you had a bad dream?”
“Never.”
“I am a generous, handsome, smart, friendly, not arrogant and kind boy. My dreams are always beautiful and fun. “
“It is so liar.”
“Hehehe… What’s up Moi? Did you have a bad dream yesterday?”
“Yup.”
“We learned about the phenomenon of dreams in our lectures, didn’t we? Cool it! It might be the dream is contrary to reality. You may have nightmares, but in reality today you have good news, don’t you? “
“Eh, why do I teach you? You’re a young psychologist girl and got cum laude. It’s like
spreading salt in the sea.”
“Seriously, Andrian. I have had nightmares often this week. Strangely the same dream that it continues.”
“It is like Déjà vu, Moi?”
I answered,
“Yup, I think like it, but the truth is why I saw the logo in my dream and today I found the logo. It’s real.”
“Hmm, you have the talent to become an oracle, Moi! Hahaha… but you tend to fortune teller. Hahaha…”
“Just ignore it, Moi. The fact you had a good future. Enjoy it. I suggest to you before going to bed, look at my photo. Your dream to night will be different, hahaha …”
“I don’t have your photo.” I said lie
In my mobile phone saved a few Adrian photos which I screen shot from his social media account.
“Want me to send?”
“I don’t need.” I replied quickly.
And…Ting! Ting! Ting! Adrian sent me three photos continuously. The first photo, Adrian looked dashing in a tuxedo. The second photo, he wore blue shirts and a sunglasses above his hair, it’s so stylish. The third photo, he was smiling, showing a line of sparkling white teeth and winking. They all are close up photo. I shook my head. This magical creature was really narcissistic as like American idol level. Oh my God….
Ting! Adrian again.
This time it was not a photo but a writing chat.
“Good night, Moi. Have a nice dream!”
And I fell asleep until dawn light through the curtains of my room, without being overshadowed by sticking out hands, bloody eyes or hideous gate.
I woke up with a smile on my lips because last night I ran in the tea garden, which turned into a row of lush teak trees. Then it changed again into a colorful flower garden, while Adrian was laughed pursuing me, as like Indian romantic film in my dream.
GLOSSARY
Kepo: acronym of Knowing Every Particular Object. It’s the term of people who want to know everything in detail.
Graphology:Handwriting or knowledge of writing is the analysis of handwriting patterns that can identify a person’s psychological condition and character.
NLP(Neuro-Lingustic Programming):techniques that study individual subconscious patterns and how the individual’s subconscious patterns should be redesigned through training to improve mental awareness better.
Body language: the process of expressing faces, movements, views, tone of voice and posture to send and receive messages without words (nonverbal communication).
The expression language that has existed since humans were born and is the same from several nations and countries, and passed down from humans to humans since millions of years ago.
Apprentice: a person who is learning a trade/business from a skilled employer, having agreed to work for a fixed period at low wages.
Occupational academy:academy which produces intermediate experts who can provide occupational services/occupational therapy. Occupational therapy is a health profession that aims to improve the degree of health and well-being through activities. Occupational therapy studies many branches of science, takes from various disciplines such as medicine (including anatomy, physiology and psychiatry), psychology (developmental psychology, biopsychology) to architecture (environmental analysis and ergonomics) with the aim of being able to be applied and reach therapeutic goals to improve quality of health and well-being.
Assessments psychology: the process of gathering information and analysis about the individual/client to get an understanding of the individual/client and is used in making a judgments and decisions relating to the individual/client.
Abnormal Psychology: one branch of psychology that attempts to understand abnormal behavior patterns and how to help people who experience it.
Confidential: in a business relationship is a secret position that isn’t be known by unauthorized party.
Déjà vu: comes from French which means “have seen”. It is the event where a person feels that has experienced the same thing that happened in the past or has seen the same thing in his dream.
Fortune teller: future seer (luck).